I'm boring. . . .

I have come to realise, that, I am damned boring!

I mean, what on earth do I talk about? Me. My worries. My future. My family. My feelings. My grades. Do I simply have no other topics??? Nothing in life that interests me besides myself and what I like?

Would someone else reading this blog be interested at ALL? I know I wouldn't be. I would think that I'm a self-absorbed, self-assured, oblivious little thing that needs a dose of humility.

From now on, I am going to work on making myself more interesting. Becoming a more well-rounded individual. Do more than just worry about grades. Wean myself off that kind of elation when I get good grades/beat someone, and conversely, that sinking feeling when I think I've underperformed. Or could have worked harder.

I need to grow up.

So, what would grown-up, interesting, me talk about?

Today began with Market Microstructures, a course that examines the trading mechanisms behind exchanges in the major markets around the world, and, I believe, how those mechanisms can be exploited. You see, first thing we learn in economics is the supply and demand diagram. When supply matches demand, trade takes place at the stated price and quantity. That's in econ theory land, or maybe in Chicago, but in practise, it is a lot more complicated. For example, sure, we know the price, but who gets how many at that price? What if you run out at that price? Then do I have to pay more? The early bird gets the worm in an ideal world, but is there anyway I can jump the queue? How do I know how much I should pay? There a lots of reasons why the suppliers can't find the demanders.

Thus, that is where the bankers come in. Intermediating. Connecting the suppliers with the demanders. But, it's a dog eat dog world out there, and while they take advantage of their "customers", there are those that seek to take advantage of them. Add the regulators in (and like all regulators, they mostly just meddle), it's a full circus. Plus extras. It is, in fact, what a lot of secretive hedge funds do. They game the system. And, as I have started to learn, there is much to play around with.

For example, today, the major thing that I got from the lecture was order-precedence rules. Usually, you go by price (lowest sell (ask), highest buy (bid)), then timing. But in the NYSE, whenever a full order is matched, e.g. 100 shares to sell with 100 shares to buy, all subsequent orders at the same price are then automatically set at the same precedence. So, in theory, if a trader can see the Books, he/she can trade to clear the book exactly, then submit lots of orders of that share at the former price, and get almost instant execution as soon as the next sell/buy order comes along. This, is of course, only possible if you have very fast information. So is thus limited to institutions who have paid lots of money to have instant info from the exchange, or, the floor brokers, or the "crowd" on the NYSE itself. The entire system is set up, in essence to game the small investor, for the favoured few. I guess, you could say that that is life. The strong prey on the weak.

This course, there is a writing assignment, and I have, out of pure luck, paired up with a Phd student majoring in Electricity Supply. (I think that's what it is in English). I have a lot to learn from him. It's crazy how efficient he is. Today, he passed me a 19 page document of just about all the media reports on the HKeX's (Hong Kong Exchange) new closing procedure, initiated May 30, 2008, and the critisms levied at it. And here I am, the little third year. Done nothing. (Insert sinking feeling here). He thinks my four courses are pretty light. Compared to him, I reckon it must be pretty easy. Well, just have to work harder.

Now, next class is Financial Statement Analysis, in return for four day weekends, I have a full day of lectures on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It's worth it.

This class is taught by the same lecturer as the previous one. And he's living proof, that good looks is not the most important thing in a character because, this guy, is very good looking. In the traditional sense, but, unattractive. He's just so damned cold! Those piercing eyes, lack of smiles, no jokes, and somewhat arrogant and condescending manner. . . In the old days, he would be a strict schoolmaster with a timid, simple wife. I guess modern women want more. He keeps talking about the "dating market" as an example of information asymmetry. In doing so, he confirms and condemns himself to singlehood. Now, that is efficient. =)

Now this class, FSA, is a stark contrast to the class before. In that class, I'm interested, challenged and attentive. In FSA, I'm bored and feel like a friendless loser. You see, we were asked to form a group of 6 for our presentation assignment. And I have kinda missed the boat. It's a large lecture, so, noone tends to talk to each other unless they already know each other. In fact, we don't talk to each other in MM either, even though there is this girl in my class, also in FSA, that, had I had the guts to talk to her, and somehow worm myself into her group, I can confidently say that I did not need to worry about FSA presentation marks this semester. However, my networking skills are just not that good. . . well, I missed optimal timing. Again, timing is crucial. I have so much to say about timing. More on that later. Anyway, to cut long story short, I asked this girl that was sitting by herself next to me, and she looked at me like I was some kind of insane asylum escapee, and said "Yes." like it was obvious, and I should know that. Well, she could have rejected me nicely. With a smile. Wouldn't have taken her much of an effort, but it would have meant a lot to me. Now I know how guys feel when they are rejected by some girl. I vow to be as nice as possible next time I reject someone. If I ever do. Maybe that is why guys do better. They are forced, by nature (lack of wombs) to take rejection. For the future of their genetics. If I was a guy I'd do the same thing.

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Just got handed a condom and a flyer for Moulin Rouge Valentine's Day Party. Haven't been out once today. Somehow, whenever I think of dressing up prettily, getting smash drunk and come back looking like it doesn't appeal anymore. I want to remain me. Or get drunk with friends that I care about. Actually, I don't see the point. I always remember everything that happens. And can control myself. Mostly.
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Anyway, Econ History, is well, Econ History, same old, same old. (Old, hah). I felt more in touch with my Chineseness for a while. Now I think I'm losing my non-Chineseness. Not sure I can go as crazy anymore. Not a bad thing.

Corporate Finance, however, was interesting. We analysed a case of a company called UST, manufacturers of moist, smokeless tobacco, and they were considering a leveraged share buy back. We are supposed to give out opinions about this. One group was choosen to do a presentation on it. Now, this group, consisted of one HK local, and two Australians, plus Annoying Guy. Annoying guy, is that boy in school who asked questions about everything the teacher said, and self-assuredly challenged what the teacher said, and always tried to go beyond what was taught in class, but missed the mark, and the point. I'm not sure why he does that. He should try to be more correct. Or talk less. Now, I haven't met anyone like the annoying guy for a long time. And you all know I'm a terrible listener, and frankly, I have no idea what he says 85-95% of the time. He talks too fast. And in circles. Never stakes out a position. And uses far too many buzz words. But for a while there, because I didn't do the numbers. He totally blindsided me. Another sinking feeling. Next assignment, I'm going to volunteer to do the numbers. I had no idea how dependent I was on numbers.

On a brighter note, UBS has just announced the biggest corporate losses in Swiss history, of SFr8.10billion. For last quarter. And that is after a SFr1.73bn tax benefit and a reclassification of assets that allowed the bank to avoid recognising a further trading loss of about SFr3bn. Total losses for 2008: SFr 20 bil. Another 2,000 job cuts in IBD announced. I need to be less focussed on IB.

Case in point: I refuse to give my life up for a job. It's not even a dream. What is there to dream about? The 100hr work week? The 4 hr per day of sleep? There isn't any time to dream!!! I don't want to earn millions, but be 40, divorced, childless, and have nothing outside of deal-making or trading. Getting hit on by young, lazy little things because they want to spend and not pay for it.

So, instead of thinking, "I want to be an I-Banker", I should go out and achieve things that I can be proud of. Looking at my CV, there are very few things that I'm proud of. Or in fact, did because I actually wanted to do. Now, that's going to change. New plan of action.