Do we ever know what we want?

This stemmed from my breakfast order this morning.
The decisions I made from my coffee-less state were as follows:
1. I'm going to try something new. What is this chicken steak thing?
2. Well, I hate the ham, and I really want some bacon, so lets get chicken steak with bacon
3. Double egg is high cholestrol anyway, and I'm newly on a diet correct?
4. This canteen place depresses me, I'm gonna takeout and eat outside

Then I subsequently went up to the counter and placed my order for chicken steak with ham in chinese. Just shows how shit my language skills are. I seriously need to devote more time to my chinese readings. But there is no time!!! I spent all of yesterday looking for some data for my forecasting assignment. Went from hedge funds to BDI to trade stats(any trade stats that are asia related) and then, at the very last minute, after I had searched just about every database that was available to me and was contemplating whether or not I should call someone to ask them if they can search some databases that are not open to me, I found some good hedge fund data. So now, I'm back a full circle. I'm exhausted. I can't even bring myself to look at the data that I spent so much time searching for. I think I'll take a break for today. Study some monetary econ. Doesn't help that I'm skipping class right now I admit.

Oh yea, and we got 100% in Derivatives assignment!! Ok, so it was easy and the average was not far off that, but still. . . I'm proud of myself. Still have my quant hedge fund dreams intact. Isn't that so sad? I need grad verification for what I want.

Back to original topic then. Well, as I sat in these beautiful surroundings (I am desperate for anything green, you have no idea how much I miss Albert Park, or the bit outside OGH or even the balcony of OGG (oh I miss OGG)), eating my disgusting brekkie (fatty chicken with processed ham and disgusting white bread, no wonder why I'm gaining weight, not one of those things are low GI). As I ate more of it, it started getting better. "We can't always get what we want, but if we try sometime we get what we need". Rolling Stones. Correct la. So, actually, what we want is not important. Econonomics 101 right? Unlimited wants, limited supply. So in actual fact, we should focus on what we need. Makes for much healthier living really.

I am not going to pay more attention to that sometimes subtle distinction. Do I need that drink? Do I need that book? Do I need that top? If I simply want it, perhaps I should give it a pass.

Hm....I'll try it and see how it goes. Of course, this may of course just be some mental prep for my just starting diet. Sigh. It's hard being a girl. I suppose guys are no better. In HK they have to make a few million to get a decent girl. I have it better then, from that perspective.

Being fat in HK

To my utter shock, I am considered fat in HK. I'm not even depressed. I'm keeping the body. Makes me special. And plus, I'm becoming fond of the curves. It's who I am. And of course, you can't make me stop eating. That would make me depressed.

Plus, I don't have to be pretty. It's not necessary for me to have enough resources to live the life I need. I don't have a comparative advantage in that department anyway. I'm smarter than I am pretty.  On the normal distribution.

But I have found out that apparently 80-85% of all girls in HK all plan to marry a rich guy. Or hopes to. Or is trying to look prettier so they can do so. Isn't that sick? And no offense, but the guys fuel it! I mean, it's my own problem if I'm. . . bigger than the average HKie girl right? How is it their business to tell me to lose weight to improve my chances? Ok, that is very western way of thinking. It's not just the HKies, my parents and family do it to me as well. They are just trying to be nice so that I can have it all. Rich boy. Tick. Good job. Tick. Life perfect. Tick.  Bullshit way of living. Tick. 

Money is not an object. It's a medium of exchange, medium of account and store of value (good one these days, deflation la). What does it really matter how much money one has? Actually, I saw a documentary today off the internet. Called "Young and Restless in China". Link:(http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/youngchina/)

A theme in the doco is that there is a spiritual hole in China. One that is currently filled on materialism. I think that we are seeing that come apart right before our eyes. The Chinese will start turning to find more meaning in life very soon. And that can be dangerous. I think the CCP have the maturity and are pragmatic enough to know that they cannot fight this, and must work with it to give the people more human rights and freedom, at the cost of growth. I really don't think it would get ugly, but there is a great potential. If it was any other country than the one that I primarily identify with, I would say that there is definitely going to be violence and unrest, but I have faith in the CCP. Naive? Perhaps. Blind? Admittedly probably. But that's my view. 

On a smaller level, the rapper guy commented that girls in China don't believe in love anymore. Only money. So sad. I for one still believe in love. Didn't use to actually. This is a more recent belief. 

Money is after all, a recent thing. It's evil. I finally said it. Wouldn't be bad to just live on the land. OK, I would never survive, both physically and mentally, but at least I can empathise more now. There is something in us right? Some primal thing. We haven't quite evolved to city life. 

All of a sudden, I miss NZ more. I wish they sky wasn't grey. I wish I could see Milford Sound again. I wish I could go to a beach and see no people, with pristine sands, fruits of the sea, and a waterfall behind me that I can drink out of. Actually, just being in a bush with the sound of no human. Still and calm. I've tried to decrease the amount of information that I come in contact with every day as a result of this. Everything is just getting too cluttered. I need to somehow distill the important things out. There are not many important things.

Thoughts

Went hiking today. With the MBA people. Had a good time running around, joked around etc. 

Had a fun talk with instructor about HK girls. Stemmed from my continious eating. And "bye bye fat" (aka underarm fat). All the Hongkie chicks seem to care about is being pretty and marrying a rich man. I thought of doing that, but realised that it was too high risk, with no chance of diversification. On the other hand, the skills you gain are pretty transferable. More than being a trader anyway. But I'm not aiming for that anymore.  

Isn't that sad? I mean, eating is one of the things I derive the most pleasure from. I get really depressed if I don't eat. I found that travelling by myself through Borneo. I was pissed off at them, and a little scared and worried as I had no idea about where to go expect that one name of the village of where I was heading to, but I was really happy most of the way, except when I was hungry. I like the small things in life.

On the subject of transferability of skills, I have finally figured out that it is very important to gain transferable skills. Actually, that's the problem with engineering. You may learn a lot, but it is oh so specialised. I mean, a chemical engineer would find it hard to be anything other than a chemical engineer. Barring chemical engineering lecturer, reseacher etc.  Whereas lawyer, what you mostly gain is critical thinking and speaking skills. Can go into role in management, politics, journalism, blogging, TV . . . . This, inevitably got me to thinking about me.  Math and Compsci skills are transferable. Accounting skills are transferable (not as much as the others though). Most of all, language skills are transferrable. My next focus then.

What is not that transferable? Finance. Economics. I mean, I admire that Econ give you a new way of looking at things, but to be serious, it's more of a philosophy than anything else isn't it? It's ridiculous to think that one can REALLY do a cost-benefit analysis. I mean, you give me your desired outcome, I give you a report. Possibly to argue it either way. And a third way if you shall so desire.  Finance is just bs in a financial way. And the math skills cannot really be attributed to finance, math is math. I suppose it's a inter-disciplinary area of study. Actually, can it really be called a subject? Can business really be termed as an academic subject? Actually, my friend is probably very correct in that it is a vocational subject. So in actual fact, what business schools really should be teaching their graduates is how to think so that they make the correct decision in the correct situation. Now that's a difficult to teach. I'm not sure b-schools even try. 

Isn't it also funny about first impressions? Don't judge a book by its cover. Once again found proof if this fact. 

Mad need sleep. But I'm getting much much better at not sleeping. I've done about 6 hrs in last two nights. That's three days. Today's the third night. 

Night!

Decision making at the margin

I have just realised that most of my week is, well, was spent based on irrationality. I went and listened to classes because I paid for them, and therefore should go. However, what I paid was a sunk cost! I am basically paying for my degree. There are no consequences to not turning up to class. There are, however, consequences to not turning up to tutorials, so I better go to those. 

I can't believe I've been so stupid. I should allocate my time the best I can, not on going to class and pretending to pay attention based on some stupid sunk costs.

I love economics.

Good days and bad days.

Ok, yesterday was a unbelievably good day. I had a epiphany, an adventure early in the morning, followed by an excellent Insurance lecture. This guy is like having a guest lecturer twice a week. He talks about almost nothing except what is currently going on in industry in HK. I then listened to Professor Lord Nicholas Stern talk about climate change (not that inspiring but he is my first economist-blueblood), I didn't register and sneaked in, but of all the luck, sat next to a Prof from Champs Trophy's friends, so now have another contact in HK. I managed to finish my assignment in record speed, then went to the Charisma thing, then found out that I managed to get over the crazy 87% average in Derivatives midterm (yay!!!!) and the whole day was topped off with a fancy high table dinner, listened to Stanley Ho and Raymond Chan, two really rich guys in HK, and had a fun tipsy run afterwards.

Today is resolutely a bad day. It begun bad in the wee hours of the morning, when I found out that due to my desire to score some airpoints, my perfect Chinese New Year's flights to NJ are booked out. Then, the stupid computer system (or perhaps my network connection) was experiencing problems that didn't allow me to book! So I need to try again now.

Also today, I have to sit through two sets of two hour lecturers by boring guys. Torture. Couldn't concentrate. Just soo.....boring!! Monetary econ is irrelevant to say the least. It's just too theoretical!!! It's all stale thinking from like 30 years ago(at least). I don't think it's very directly applicable to life. I mean, it probably is, but you probably need to do a hell of a lot of work to make it do so. I knew this, but I decided to take it because 1. I get credits and 2. I thought it would help me understand central banking. Well 1 is definitely true. As for 2. . . I know CBers know this theory and might even discuss it, but I think the world is too unpure. They are motivated more by politics. So who gives a ****? I'm being cynical. It's probably useful.

As for derivatives. Reminds me of maths lectures. Complete with guy with easy to tune out chinese accent, and unimaginative style of teaching. Sometimes it seems that he is up there in the dark (he turns off the front of room lights, it's like a reverse movie theatre) talking to himself about this stuff. There is not really much to lecture about. This plus this equals that. Sub that into this and you get this. Then use this to derive that by rearranging. I passed out for around 20mins and then tuned out for the rest of the hour. I feel bad, but it was really hard.

Could this all stem from my lack of sleep yesterday? I shouldn't have gone running late at night, instead, should have just gone to sleep and left all this to today.

Because, I think I just twisted my ankle walking down the stars in Chong Yuet Ming. Embarrassing!!!!!! Spilt my Starbucks all over the steps too, but I totally wanted to get out of there fast. I don't even know how that happened. I think it may be in my best interests to just go back right now and pass out on my bed. Oh, but I need to do grocery shopping. . . no fresh fruit. Should I do that tomorrow? No because I'm doing real shopping tomorrow and applying for my China visa (yes, I need to apply to go home).

I also wasted crazy amounts of time having lunch. One bowl of noodles, hungry, then desert, then drink, then went to buy tape, then went to library, no computers, then no cash, then atm, then no octopus cash. . . I think I have wasted around 2 hours running around being inefficient today. I really think it's the lack of sleep. I didn't know this kind of thing was so important! Will get to bed early tonight. My goal to raise my efficiency has worked somewhat. I am more efficient, just not efficient enough. Will keep trying day by day. Hopefully, by the end of this exchange, I'll be a machine.

Also, I've been thinking about my academic overaverageness. It really is very unfair. I mean, I do less work, and do better than a lot of my peers. Derivatives was an all night cram. I did no prior study. I feel bad. And I wonder if this will come back and hit me later on in life. Hopefully not. I am aware of this danger, so I will look out for it. I don't think that this is a big deal. And am very humble about my geeky achievements. I mean in the end, all of it has no practical value. I may as well spend my time solving problems that really impact real people rather than focusing on how to beat my peers in the next assessment and pass that stupid high average.

Lost in Sheung Wan. 4th time.

This morning, in order to save some time, I caught the wrong bus (4 not 4X is the correct one) and ended up in Sheung Wan. De ja vu? However, this proved all for the best.

Being me, I decided that the food must be better here, and that since I was there already, I should go get some breakfast. This thinking resulted in a 20min walk around the place, where I managed to get to the bus stop, and lo and behold, an elusive "zhou" (congee) place right opposite.

This walk has really given me a feel for Hong Kong. All the bird's nest sellers, the old vendors in there stores, the dried sea goods. . . This is what HK used to be like. And I suppose, is traditionally like. At first, I had thought the area was seedy and scary. No more. It is simply more of Asia.

While at this zhou place, I had a slight epiphany. The couple we met yesterday, the M & A banker and Bain consultant, grads of Harvard and UPenn respectively, they were missing something. A connection to the culture of this place. As I sat there and thought of our brunch, I wondered if they ever came to these places. Then, I realised that they probably couldn't read the menus. Of course, I could be wrong, but even if they could, I doubt they would go. It just felt so at home. The old people coming in to get takeout for their spouse or family, along with groceries for the day, the working people getting breakfast. I really felt that this is what HK life REALLY is. This is how the plebians live. It was the first time I had ever been out to a built up area that early.

Then, I thought about taking a gap year. I think I will do it. One day, I will be in a situation like the M & A banker and his girlfriend, and I don't want to feel empty like that. They didn't like the mainland because it was the "wild west" and that western companies weren't really investing a lot of their time on it. So what? Isn't that the exciting part? If you found the right niche, the right loophole, then you could make (and then lose no doubt) a FORTUNE. It's like the tycoons of old. There is a chance a new Standard Oil or General Electric will form right before our eyes. Isn't that amazing?

They also hated Beijing due to it's lack of "efficiency" in street signs. But isn't it cool? Beijing is a vast, sprawling, beaureaucratic, slow moving city. I think that may be good for policy-making. A huge behemouth with vast power and streets that aren't meant to be easily navigated by outsiders. It's pretty descriptive of the feel of the city itself don't you think? And don't they feel the charm of the Beijing alleys? I suppose it's very frustrating for a visitor. Which is why it is good to get your friend to meet you at a subway station or something and lead you to their house. Actually, that is a good idea in all of china. I doubt I will be able to find a place from the address if i haven't been there before.

Also, they have so much at such a young age with . . . small amount of effort. Comparatively. I wanna see how the other half lives, also confirm or reject the theories I have about life with empirical evidence. So, I shall start researching NGOs and the like. Preferably some kind of financial or economic consulting company preparing developmental reports on third world countries, or microfinance companies. Most importantly, one that PAYS ME. Not the other way around. Plus, how awesome would that look on a CV? Might even get straight into asset management. Ok, pipe dream, but higher probability of getting in than if i didn't do a gap year correct?

For HKD 1900, I could go home to Nanjing for the weekend.

I have just realized that there is not real place I call home. Wizard of Oz echoed through this vast cavern of consciousness (ok, perhaps less than vast, but it sound good with cavern correct?). There's no place like home. Where is home? Nanjing? I sleep very well there. And eat even better. But is it really home? I'm coddled and cuddled. I make extreme efforts to be nice. I feel guilty when alone doing my own thing, thinking that I need to make the most of this time to keep my grandparents company. Home?

Lie on your bed, just as if you haven't left? No longer quite possible, the place is renovated. The dusty old window frames with the cloudy glass that I used to see every morning are now aluminum frames. It's nicer. . . and easier to clean. But, you know, sometimes, in parts of the world, when I wake up and see the morning glow shining through some cloudy, dusty window framed by thick black frames, it's as if I'm back in my childhood again, and for a moment, I feel safe and utterly content.

Isn't it funny childhood memories? We feel so good when wrapped up in them. I went to Malaysia and ate 山楂片 (Haw Flakes). Didn't even really like them when young. But somehow, they stick more than the 大白兔，or the 旺旺雪并。 I'm sure you got more per packet back then, but then, it is still as cheap as it was before. One other thing I yearn for is the 罗伯斯并 from the roadside after mum picked me up from kindergarten, with that woman. I barely remember her face now, but I definitely recall the spoon, the flour mix and how the thing magically appeared in the shape of the spoon after deep frying. I also miss the 茶叶蛋 from the old woman outside the children's hospital, after my many trips there due to fever, excessive coughing etc. Immune system still sh*tty though. Have diahorreal illness from Malaysia.

Is that home? I suppose I am nearing the age where I should really start thinking about creating my own home. Frightful thought, but to not think about is to only delay reality. I'm no Peter Pan. I can't be a kid forever. Haha, it's funny isn't it? Everything that our innocent childhood stories that we love so dearly tell us about the big bad world? Delay adulthood, be a child forever. Ah, there is a reason why that is called fantasy.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, awwww......I should re-read some of the Roald Dahl, I reckon I'll understand so much more now, anyway, the part where Grandpa lives Charlie's fantasy with him. That's it isn't it? We lose our childhoods, then, when we are old with grandchildren, we get a chance to regain it, through them. That is why all grandparents spoil their grandkids. Ok, not all, but the ones that get it do.

As far as my own childhood goes, actually, sadly, personally, I consider it to be pretty much over once I left Nanjing. But then what was in between???? Extended adolescence? Perhaps. It was just not the same once we left. At least I had almost 7 years of nice memories to draw on. Plus bits and pieces here and there. Not the best, but then definitely not the worst. That which does not kill us will make us stronger I guess.

Sigh, now I'm off to attempt to be more of an adult.

People

Some people in life, just have mastered the art of making others feel like they are close to them. When in fact they are not. Some have the knack of making others feel that they are distant. Even though they are close.

The former reaches and he receives. The latter is always wondering why he always makes such distant friends.

New insights on friendships. But contrarily, closeness may be more easily achieved by the distant one. Well, at least one can always tell the close ones from the distant.

We each live our lives to the best of our ability, to suit the best of our intentions.

Really need to blog.

Just went to one of the halls accross the road for the first time since I got here. There is stuff piled all over the corridors, there are people walking up and down the place, they're all really together. Like their own little club. I felt a little foreign. Ok, I felt really foreign. Just like at the canteen by myself. Noone talks to me, and I just eat by myself...it was really terrible. Actually, that is the first time that I have eaten by myself while here. After that, I met some exchange students and it was all good. 

I don't understand this. From a logical point of view, we come from basically most of the points of the globe, but we are actually really together. Separated by interests of course. 

Almost all the girls are going out tonight for ladies night (free drinks). I really wanna go, but I'm making this sacrifice for Macau, and my grades. I am no a B student (once again). My grades cannot suffer because I have already fallen behind on the second week. 

I bought a HP 12C!!!!!!! The ultimate finance geek calculator. It is super awesome. I love how you have to read the manual just to figure out how to add 1+1 on it. It feels really good too. I also have some mooncakes that I am thinking of inviting everyone over to eat tomorrow. Some facebook action? Ok, maybe on Monday, when I'm back from Macau. 

Oh yea, Macau this weekend!!!!! Love it!!!! Booked my Cirque du Solei tickets and the seats are pretty good! Sadly, I can't afford to gamble, but at least I will be legally allowed to gamble there! I checked it out, foreigners are allowed to gamble at 18 and locals at 20 (nice government huh? Looks after the youth of Macau). I am now officially a foreigner. It feels so weird. I am now officially an exchange student. This is definitely not my country. The mainlanders, as many of us as there are, are definitely not really a totally accepted part of the demography. I can't say how, but just the people that kind of snob you, the looks....I mean, I get some treatment for knowing how to speak almost perfect english. Marking me out as a Hai Gui (Sea turtle). I just haven't assimilated into this culture yet. Because I feel a little alienated outside of this exchange students' hall. The locals speak to you, but they don't really speak  to you. Like in China, about the politics, economics, government. I suppose it's because I was really lucky to get opportunities like that back home. Come to think of it, I didn't get conversations like that in NZ either. Perhaps I should have sought them out more. Like I should here. Some financial news. But how? Maybe joining the finance students' association could be a start. Or the investments club. But they might just provide personal trading information.

Yea, as for my plans to trade on the HK stock exchange, it is totally on hold now. With all the parties, travel opportunities, cantonese learning, homework, it is virtually impossible to concentrate. And I need 24hr access to the internet. Which an Eee PC will provide me with I'm sure. I'll get one next next weekend. Will ask around as to which place would be the cheapest. 

OK, it's set, just got my third invite for ladies' night, I am NOT going drinking. It is a waste of time, I will wake up a little hungover, I will lose concentration in class and also when making my summary notes. I'm saving myself for Macau. I hope the drinks there are not too expensive, but if so, then it should be great! 

COMPUTER!!!!!! You are here!!

I am blogging off my old, gigantic laptop. I am back in love.

Bought Struck and White's Elements of Style yesterday at the HKU bookshop. For like, 80 HKD. So, it is my hope that this investment will pay off and I will become more understandable. The books here are so cheap. But not to the folks back home in the mainland. Now, things there are really cheap. I miss it.

Am so exhausted at the moment. The only thing that is keeping me going is the bit of "midnight snack" that I ate at around 10. It is 12.01am now.

OK, it is not 1:26am. I am still here. Am still surviving on those biscuits and that bun. My room is such a mess, and I need to awaken at 7:30 tomorrow (6 hours later). For I made a really dumb mistake. And it's nice to wake at 7:30 on a Saturday morning anyway.

Apart from the adjustment issues, this place has been great! All I really need now is a camera, and I can go out and explore for real! Hopefully Sunday. Actually, definately Sunday either way.

The classes here are interesting. The locals don't really.....listen. They mostly chatter throughout the class. The mainlanders do though. Really throughly. I probably should make friends with some of them. Get their notes? As opposed to leaning forward and copying them when I have missed something important. But that strategy was very efficient too. Next time, when I go to class, I need to be sure that I sit behind some very young looking girls with notebooks. Pass class...no problem.

Living by myself (well, relatively) has been interesting experience. I really need to get my life in order, but an far too lazy to! Actually, I feel that I need my laptop to get my life in order. So that I can plan my days in advance on my computer, and then upload them onto my cellphone....that's me folks. How will I possibly survive in the wild? Now I understand those guys in the computer centres that smell like they haven't washed in two weeks. Luckily, my roommate is super-neat, so she keeps me in check by setting a great example and disparaging looks at my heap.

I now realise, that my handwriting looks a lot like my room. Messy. Should I just accept that as a part of my personality? It was pre-destined I suppose, and anyway, it doesn't get messier. Just stays this messy.

A complaint that I have heard a lot is that the local students don't really interact much with us. But in actual halls and if you can speak Cantonese, it is apparently a real bonus.

I have sadly, been asleep in a lot of classes lately. Actually, I fall asleep in all my classes, even the ones where I really like the lecturer. And the two hour sessions here are seriously tough. Especially if they don't give you a break. I'm dead at one hour mark on the dot. Like clockwork. I need to tune out for five minutes and go off into the land of the sleepy person. Maybe it's because I haven't had coffee these past few days due to laziness. Don't worry, now onwards, it will be different. I have my computer now. Now, I just need to figure out a good printing method. I think I will use the "secret" computer lab next to my lecturers' offices in the KKL building level 7. It is near impossible to get an elevator up and down there, but it's well worth it. I mean, I could always walk the 7 floors. It would be good exercise.

I'm so terrible. I have joined NO clubs. Well, back at Auckland, I joined heaps of clubs. And never went. I think this will be pretty much the same thing here. For some reason. And I haven't checked out the gym facilities yet. I have heard that we need to get a special training session before we can get in, but can't seem to find any information. I should ask about that.

Right now, the most important thing for me is probably to sleep. See y'all later on today!

Back from the Dead

And very frustrated. I can't find my course website. The one for my sole course today that has the assignment that is due on Monday and I don't have a credit card, a student card, nor do I have a computer, nor a camera......at least I have money. That I have trouble accessing....but still. I should look on the bright side of life.

The computer system is screwed up. And I thought nDeva was f*cked up, but dude, you should see this one. You know those Asian news websites with about a million different thing to click on and it looks like ergonomics was (well, in fact is) a foreign concept? Yea, that's our adminstration system.

Nothing is clear. The course material are all online, but google doesn't come up with many hits.

Am now at the HKU library. Where they have some pretty old looking hps. But at least they have more than the 40 or so at the so-called "Computer Centre". That ain't no computer centre baby.

Ok, so the main reason why I'm like this is that I am not used to this climate and my skin has broken out. It's ok. I had around twice the recommended daily dose of cooling tea, plus that chinese herbal medicine stuff. Yea, I think I'll take it easier from now on in case I over do it.

This place has to be the world most maze-like university. You know the Science Building...yea, only it covers the entire uni, and it's on a hill, so there is a height thing to consider.

Maybe I'm just annoyed that I have to go to class now. Oh yea, I also have no textbooks nor exercise books. And you should see the line in the bookstore.

Ok, perhaps my expectations have been let down. I actually previously thought I had none. Ok, another reason why I'm frustrated, is that I really want to get all of the above, but have not done so, due tor stupid reasons like price, convienience, etc. I have missed a lot of opportunity.

Overall, I need to go out and do stuff. I shall go to Mong Kok on Wednesday and just get that camera.

Eastern Love vs. Western Love

Well, for the past few days, I have been watching chick tv shows. And, since they are all about love, I have found that there is a distinct difference between the english speaking ones, and, the chinese dubbed, korean speaking ones. On a side note, Korean and Japanese cultures both embody, in a MUCH fuller form than what China has at the moment, elements of what chinese culture used to be. Korean being the more recent past. This was a part of my museum education by the way. So, if you want to understand traditional Chinese culture, they are probably good places to start. Ironically.

Anyway, what is different, is in the words of a Yao Ming video biographer, that "sweet, lingering eastern love". Versus the brash, brief western version. Let me elaborate a little. In trad. E culture, a girl and a boy is more love at first sight. They are supposed to talk to each other, get to know each other, the boy is expected to do good things for the girl and their family. Gifts, errands etc. The girl on the other hand, is supposed to act shyly, accept gifts grudgingly and be absolutely innocent of the boy's intentions. Well, I'm talking about love, not arranged marriages. This can drag on for YEARS with no action, before they get married. Thereafter, she cooks, breeds and looks after the children, and he goes on with his career, plus some one to cook, clean and breed for him. She then tries to live her life through him and her children. Quote from a movie I saw this morning : " Men conquer women through conquering the world, and women conquer the world through men". It's so....waste of time. Inefficient even.

Brash western: meet, like ea other, stay together, don't like each other anymore, separate. Split everything down the middle and find a new situation to be in. Maybe in a developed economy, one can afford to do such a thing more. But con: perhaps through years of trials and tribulations, emotions run deeper.

Anyway, I've been meaning to write some long, irrational post about if for ages, but then, after some slow, lingering music that I fell half asleep to, it hit me. We are all looking for the same thing in different ways. Someone to cross that wide, wide ocean with, and through mutual feelings of terror, find comfort. And also for one to catch the other in case we fall.

I've always told myself that no matter whether or not I'm scared, I have to cross it. Being not scared will improve my performance and minimise chances of falling. What is there to be scared about anyway?

What my life might have been:

5.00 Wake up, brush teeth, early pre-reading

6.00 Breakfast, walk to school, tie hair on way there

6.15. Start school.

• No of subjects: 9
• Papers needed to be completed per day: 2-3 per subject
• Time needed for one paper: avg. 30-45 mins
• 9*2.5*37.5=843.75mins ~14 hours
  

12.00 Lunch (one might want to use this opportunity to skip lunch and do a paper)

12.30 Finish lunch

21.00 Class finishes, Night revision

23.30 Let out, go home

00.00 Sleep.

True schedule. In small town boarding (and non-boarding) high school such as my father's old school. With a 95% University entrance rate. This is how it happens folks.

Now I'm scared. But I don't know where to start! Do you really expect me to redo 2 years worth of math? I mean, my cousin's stuff is, I think mostly covered by Math250. But our questions were really easy....unlike hers. What do I do? I'm not a B student!!!! I refuse to be a B student. >:-(

Media bias: Concrete evidence and contra-evidence.

Oh yea, found this on Economist forums by a certain "Maeglin". Yea, I'm totally addicted to Ex-communist v West discussion boards:

". . . But I have to ask you this - gentlemen, why do you trust your media? It has lied to you about WMD, it has lied to you about Kosovo and about 1st war in Yugoslavia.

We do not trust our media. We have learnt it the hard way. Why not take a piece of advice and not learn it the hard way yourself." :-) Lmao.

There are different approaches to the matter, the kinds of people are:

Ex-communist:
1. Trys to tell the truth as it is! (Yea! Go go go!)
2. Rebutts every comment (has gotta be a i-bank analyst, who else is smart, educated, able, interested in politics and also has so much forced screen time to spare?)
3. Trys to reconcile the truth and what is written from the two points of view.
4. Writes in non-English to tell everyone to chill. The westerners are a cult, they will never believe you
5. Writes about how disappointed in the economist they are (as if it has ever been any different)

Pro-western:
1. Arrogant American
2. Righteous American
3. The "understanding" American (I have lived in xxx for so many years.......)
4. The debater: dude, seriously, you could not scream "high school geek" louder if stuck a tag on your forehead and posted your picture along with your melodramatic, far too long, unoriginal, so-called ideas.
5. The historian. Speaking from his/her high and mighty pedestal of(biased) history textbooks. As if who won in the past matters.
6. Special case: Tibetans exiled, Georgians killed etc.....

Now....if only the wsj has a discussion board....sigh.


OMG. UNBELIEVEABLE! This from the WSJ.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121876874842643523.html?mod=djemITP

"Using the past week as a guide would indicate that the worst fears might be overblown. A combination of favourable winds, rain and strict government pollution controls have managed to keep Beijing's air quality below the government's threshold for safe air since the games began Aug. 8."

Damn, I'm becoming a western media watchdog. I need to read some Chinese media and post some translations of the "Chinese truth" on my blog.

Media bias

I've wanted to talk about this for ages now. I don't know if I have said it and am repeating myself, but seriously, please, don't believe the crap they feed you. I mean, I think I have understood why AMUNC was not that pleasurable an experience for me beyond the fact that I didn't stay up all night drinking with everyone else. It's because actually despite all that "debate" crap, most of them just parroted the western media line.

I mean, when I hear someone gushing about Al Jazzera, I just feel pity. They actually believed all the lies they have been told. I mean, Chinese people do to, but we have been obviously lied to so much, we leave room for doubt. A lot of people in the West actually believe that the media does their best to report the news. The free speech BS, and democracy BS. Newspapers are a business. Now I understand William Randolph Hearst: "You furnish the pictures and I'll furnish the war." Power, power, power like no other. Money is not power. Politics is not power. Broadcasting rights are power. Think about it. If on a BBC commentary was outraged at a foul or a PK in favour of the opposing and England loses....riot. On the other hand, if BBC commentator didn't mention, or said something to mollify the crowd, perhaps smaller riot.

Hmm...is that why the church was so powerful in renaissance europe? It is the ability to fool people into believing in you to make their lives better. But not so much, that, when they almost inevitably get disappointed, they will not be so disappointed that they want to revolt against you.

Is that why Obama is falling now? Like I have always maintained, he is way too n00b. I mean, there are avenues of getting things done. The Clinton camp, before their connections were torn by Obama's popularity, had them. Now...somewhere in between. I don't think America need new, better ideas. Bush's were not all that bad. Education reform, endless supply of oil secured, trade tarrifs to protect the mid-western industry so that they may have some time to change to other industries where the US has a comparative advantage even bio-fuel, while not good, is still a solution to what is probably the biggest question of the 21st century. Energy.Yea, what America needs, is someone to implement and fix up the irregularities in the system. NOT someone to think up brand spanking new ideas and try to layer them on top of the old ones...ergh......

Oh well, it's a democracy, so, if he gets elected and screws up, it means that the people has spoken, and they obviously want a president that can screw everything up further for the next four year, so it's alright. Right?

On the subject of bio fuels, I mean, we used to spend more than half our income in food. Now I think, in NZ at least the average is less than one fifth. So what if we spend more if the price to pay is to be able to run our cars? I mean, economic growth is a miracle. As Robert E. Lucas so vividly illustrated for us. Resources are limited. It just gets recycled, I mean there must be a physics law, energy conservation? That means that economic growth must stop at some point. Oh yea, the steady state rate of income in economics. Haven't reached that yet, but, it's getting closer and closer right? Because it has to be finite.

Btw, if you are heading towards something that is infinitely far away, can you say that you are getting closer to it?

In closing, take the media as a bit of a guideline to the situation. Don't naively think they are telling the truth. Like I used to. I actually used to read every sentence like it was a literary masterpiece or something. Now I scan the first two sentences of each paragraph and if it doesn't interest me i skip.

Aurum Est Potestas

Gold is power。In this trip, I am understanding why people do a lot of the things that I thought was bad and swore that in my generation, I and my fellow peers would never do. Ha ha, was I quite the young visionary? If my family were lower-class or upper-class, this kind of thinking may have manifested itself into revolutionary and idealistic behaviour at my age. Fortunately (or unfortunately) my family is middle class. So I am currently trying my best to play the game and earn money. Sigh. Such is fate.

Oh yes, those things that I didn't understand were, among others, war and love of gold. War I now believe is absolutely necessary. World peace really is trapped in the minds of beauty queens and stoned hippies. Oh yes and young idealistic souls that know no better. I mean, there is no incentive for either party to settle without war. Think about APEC and Doha and WTO and UN and ASEAN and CER and EU and AU whatever abbreviations that people give them. Think of all the taxpayers money that has been eaten or drunk at these places. Result? NIL. Nada. Why? No incentive. You need to fight. To blackmail. You see? The Americans are perfectly correct. Invade ze weak country for oil. No way they were getting it any other way. The Chinese are walking a tightrope with the African countries. We are not No. 1 so lack the kind of military and political weight to actually invade. One day, I think a revolutionary will arise and fight against this digging of natural resources. So actually, in a way, as China develops Africa more for resources that are under their feet, we are creating our own enemies. Oh well, leave that problem to later.

Anyway, this is something that I loved at the museum:

http://www.njmuseum.com/ware/images/big/treasure/100.jpg

BC 202 to AD 8 years. 2000 years of history. It is the cutest thing. I totally fell in love with most of the little gold things. So shiny and pretty! So, that is why I think there must be some kind of inbred love that humans have for gold. They beat out the wood painting, pottery etc totally.

I also loved this big bronze vase (maybe 63cm high) with some kind of inlay from the BC 476-221. Even earlier. Absolutely gorgeous.

http://www.njmuseum.com/ware/images/big/bronze/06_20021010.jpg

My first open-eyed introduction to chinese historical objects. It just shows that the human ability is limitless.

Have you noticed how I haven't been on for a while? Been addicted to Sex and the City. It is like, all the problems every woman faces in her life. The thing that really scared me is that.....do women really become Stepford wives once they marry and breed? I don't plan on marrying, but the idea of a Mini-Me is just too good to pass up. Sob sob. Life is hard. And I should consider these things later. But....there is the body clock problem.

Dr Sun Yat-Sen's Mausoleum 中山陵

Went there today and looked at Nanjing's premier tourist spot. The remains of the nationalist uprising, and also a Ming Dynasty tomb. Nice architecture.

China 0, Belgium 2

Ah, I knew I shouldn't have watched it but....its like being on a high peak. You know you shouldn't look down but.... So bad. It's not even the fact that they suck. It's the attitude. Did you see that person's face when he missed right in front of the goal in the 8th minute? Not a scrap of apology. Not a hint of "omg, this is so humiliating that I missed something like this in front of everyone". No "I wanna sink into the ground this is so embarassing". Just "oh. My bad". S.O.B.

The country with the most football fans can't beat a third rate Euro team with two of their best players missing. I'm never watching another game again. Ok, I shouldn't say that, I wanna see Ronaldinho play.

Did anyone watch Brazil v NZ? 5-0. Expected I think. No offence, but due to the fact that noone watches the beautiful game in NZ, the standard is amateur at best. There is only one strategy: get the ball forward and hope someone can out run the defence and get the ball in. Actually, the Belgium team had that kind of attacking strategy, but they had better planning and defence. More accurately, they know how to be brutal without violating the rules. Italy and Greece are masters at this. This kind of training NZ team lacks. They are still pretty much play a clean game. Which means Brazil gets a lot of space to maneuver, which basically means that the little flightless birds are screwed.

As for Brazil v China. Well, since China only has this game before they can stop losing face internationally and go back to losing face nationally and amongst the asian and middle eastern football audience, and the fact that no one expects them to be any kind of challenge to Brazil, especially themselves, I expect the first 15 mins to be alright, with some opportunities, but of course, due to the fact that our strikers go out of their way to miss the goal, even if the goal is right if front of them, we cannot possibly get a goal unless one of the Brazilian defence takes pity and decides to do it for us.

You see, this is a place where statistics goes out the window. There are 1.3 billion people in China. There are more men than women. 103:100. That makes approximately 659 million males. out of that 659 million males, there is not a single one that is a playmaker. Like Russia's Arshavin. The rest of the team is unspectacular. But with Arshavin, it's a done deal. World-class. Of course, Spain has any number of play makers so they are really good, but China really only needs one at this point.

I think the system is to blame for this. I mean, how many kids in China are a part of a football team? Apart from the ones in sports academies, maybe 1%? Study is too intense. There is just no culture of team sports. You can tell by the crappy chinese commentary. Because I have listened to the BBC ones, there is a comparison. I mean, those people understand the game. Chinese commentators just talk about random stuff that is unrelated to the game. Like how tall everyone is. They have an obsession with height. But in football, height is not all that crucial. Versus say, basketball or volleyball. At the very least, at the Chinese national team's level, height is the very least of their problems. They should start with the fact that they can't pass to save their life. Then move on to the fact that they actually can't kick the ball into the goal at point blank range.

Sigh. If I ever have kids, they are going to grow up playing football. For the good of the world.

总统府 Presidential Palace

Went and had another fancy lunch today. But luckily, it was with family, so we took everything we couldn't eat with us. Made us look a little cheap, but it was for the good of the environment, the poor etc etc. I have always wondered, do they really just throw away food that we haven't eaten? It's such a waste! But I really don't want to think about the things that one may do with restaurant leftovers. I suppose it is one of these things that only the ones inside know. This is very likely to be the last one. Thank god. We are going to the Yellow Mountain (Huang Shan) on Monday to lose weight lol. I'll be glad of the exercise opportunity.

Anyway, on to the title of this post. We went to this place that was a Qing dynasty summer house, then, when the Tai Ping Army (first peasant revolution) suceeded, it became the palace of the new king. Unfortunately, the non-imperial force was not strong in this one, and he wanted to become emperor, add some in-fighting amongst the lower levels, as well as some usurpting I think (not good on history sorry) failed after 11 years. And the old Emperors moved in again. Then, through many revolutions and random fighting, Sun Yat-sen (孙中山) suceeded in freeing us from the imperial past, then the rest is history. He died, Japs invaded further, Communists and Kuomingdang slight infighting and KMT and CCP both needs to fight the Japs, Japs left, civil war, Taiwan (KMT) and Mainland(CCP). Until the new warming of relations today. Ah, such is history.

Anyway, we saw all of the buildings that they lived and worked in, some relics, some old pictures, their revolutionary struggles, the little gardens with the little lake and the fish. Really nice.

Outside, there was a line of stalls selling various traditional craft works. We spent quite a lot of time and money there. All really worth it. Firstly, I bought a little bottle with a little picture and my name written in it. So cool.

Then, dad noticed a stall with minature carving (微雕). Bought one with a famous ancient poem carved onto it.

Also, there was paper cutting (剪纸), had a look at that.

Then, we were caught by some wood carvings. After a long and arduous negotiation, choosing etc, we bought some. A chicken, some mythical animal that looks like a lion but noone has figured it out yet, my cousin a really pretty mountain sheep (because she is a sheep), cicada and a lobster. Ok, you really have to see it. Pretty, only NZ $6 ea. I'm taking the random mythical creature with me. I wanted a Qi Ling (麒麟) like the one on the Nanjing logo, or the statue on the roundabout near the city entrance. But they only had this really ugly one. It's ok, I can go to 夫子庙 (Confucious Temple) to find some. Plus, the random mythical creature can protect me.

Next, we went to "1912" named after the year that Sun Yat-Sen moved in by liberating the country from the imperialism. Anyway, it is a entertainment place, bars, KTV, wedding photos, restaurants, tea-houses etc. Oh, yes, because we were there kinda early, 7.30 or so, there were all these places that were doing morale work on their staff. Dancing outside the wedding photo place, and something that looked a lot like a military gathering outside somewhere called A8 Music Bar. About getting customers. Extract: "I'm not saying that you guys performed badly at getting customers, all I'm saying is that it is essential that you realise how important it is for the club.....do you understand？ YES, SIR". Ha ha. Life is hard.

All in all, fun day in Nanjing.

Rain

It has been raining superhard for the past 24 hours, which has resulted in the little street outside of our house being flooded! There is about mid-calf height water just outside, that we kinda had to wade through carrying our purchases yesterday afternoon. It is currently just after midnight, and due to my excellent life of endless food, my multitudes of mosquito bites from visiting my ancestors' grave, I am experiencing a bit of insomnia.

Went to a interesting place today, charcoal fish. Good stuff. I especially liked the bean curds underneath the fish.

Will try to sleep now, I don't think this endless minesweeper is going to do me much well.

Well rested now

Ok, so, I was tired and irritable in my last post, so it may not be a fully accurate reaction of how I feel.

It occurs to me that I should be recording my eats so that I may relive it when I'm far from it.

Lets see in the past few days, thing that jump into my memory:

Zhang Jia Gang:

1. Fresh rice: freshly harvested. Glowing, soft sheen, with a sweet, clear fragrance. No need for any accompaniment.

2. Wild 黄鳝 （Monopterus albus according to Baidu）. I think it's quickly fried in a pan with all the oil, vegetables, soy sauce all mixed, then left to simmer at low heat for a little while. The wild variety has more texture to it and more taste. There is an almost muddy taste to the little things.

Small town close to Zhang Jia Gang where I went horse-riding. This was in a government building by the way.

1. Goose liver: Amazing. I've never tried foie gras, but i imagine it is something similar. The poor birds were raised especially for the purpose of liver consumption. So their livers were pure creamy fatness, no birdie taste that you would usually get, and no stringy bits.

2. Crabs: pretty small, a lot of eggs still in existence. In their peak years no doubt.

3. Abalone: On little shells and then steamed.

4. 雪菜: Sweet tasting.

Hm....is it any wonder I have weight problems?

More highlights:

• Soft-shelled turtle: (don't worry, they're not endangered) on rice. Rice tasted gooooddd
• Some fish with the shell still on. Supposed to be like that.
• Suzhou's tiny won tons, with a lot of vegies and not a lot of meat.
• What else?
• Pidgeons: roasted in special, secret sauce. In Nanjing. Was named one of NJ's top 10 things to eat. Or so we were told.

Man. All this fat is worth quite a lot isn't it?

Oh yes:

奥运加油，中国加油！

(Go go Olympics, Go go China)

East vs. West

Back in Nanjing!!!!! So happy. Home sweet home. This one was meant to be a rant about how us Chinese are second-class citizens even in our own country etc etc, how the old peasant culture mindlessly favours males over females etc.... I mean, so what if I have a rare surname and am not male....dammit, if I ever breed, they are going to have my surname. Cost of doing so, don't care.

Plus, just because your ancestors once had the ability go kick my ancestors' arse, does that mean you can intentionally and needlessly block someone's photo op just so you can stupidly look at some building and see whether or not it was a fan? Stupid pigs.

Not in a good mood as you can see. There is a typhoon, I have wasted this day on....things I would not willingly do on my own. Due to old thinking. By some people that are old and some that aren't even old but acts like it.

Another thing. Old topic. Media bias. Read an article on the train back today. On Putin. From this, the man is nothing less than a mysterious, golden hero. He is physically as powerful as he is politically, but not only has he mastered the art of Judo, a physical kind of assertion, he has also mastered diplomacy, by "losing" to a 10-year old girl in one of Japan's famous houses. There are collectable in his image. Coins, chocolates...... He is every Russian girl perfect man to marry. He is The Man. His being PM is just a constitutionally correct was of realising his year 2000 promise:
"Give me 20 years, and I will give you a great country"

Now, read an article on the issue in the western press. Who's right?

We cannot believe anything anyone says. But to not listen is suicide. Life is hard.


Toured tourist SuZhou yesterday. Not all that impressed (treated like 2nd-class citizen).

Toured New SuZhou yesterday. Now, that is what I call beauty. Huge lake. Round. Lined with neon lit pieces of architecture with the showpiece being China's premier movie theater. It's a round cone thing, with a pearl like structure at it's center. All lit in bright, ever-changing lights. All from a beautiful, faux-ancient pagoda build on the surface of the lake with a little path leading up to it. Lit in lights. Perfect place to fall in love. There is of course, a typhoon, so the wind was pretty strong, however, it is summer, so it was a warm, humid kind of wind.

Ah, feel so much better after that rant. After all, all that stuff, the sex and race prejudice, is not really a part of my world. For now. But hey, girls are rising. I mean from all the champions in the Uni Exams, most of them were girls. It's due to the fact that unlike the spoiled little male brats out there, most of us know that we have nothing, have been told that we are nothing, so there is no other choice than for us to create our own things. Is this feminism? Who cares? Nouns are actually create confusion. I mean, no two thing are actually the same, but nouns make us think that is so.

You know what? All the above actually is not a important thing to be considered. I mean, I can't change my race or sex (well..you know my meaning), so, I should just continue on my happy self.

After all, life is unfair.

Weight Issues

I cannot believe how much difference to the waistline ten days or so can make. There is definately much more of me to love. But I can't help myself when there are so much good food in this world! Sigh. I resolutely bought that small sized pair of short anyway....even though I couldn't quite fit into the waistline. But I have faith. Plus the medium sized one had around 2 inches of free space. Obviously not my size. Aaaargh!!!!!!

SH is back to what I'm familiar with. The shopping, the noise, the traffic, the people. Even the worries are the same. At last! I have discovered the meaning of culture!

The streets seem to be filled with four types of people:
1. Young people dating
2. Two or more girls shopping
3. Girl with mum
4. Lone male

We were of course, the exception.

I'm dying to taste life. Away from all this family cloud. My 12 year old cousin who is still addicted to aforementioned internet games is hovering around. Better get off the computer. Ciao!

Yesterday and Shanghai

TODAY

Du family reunion. All of us together. I was mostly in coffee withdrawl. Head Ache. Still haven't quite figured it out. Other than that there is a definate generation gap.

It was really sad saying goodbye to Great-Aunt and Uncle. They sang for us some local operas on the car. Will no doubt see them again.

Am now at an aunt's house. Will get to taste some more of Shanghai tomorrow. Night!

YESTERDAY:

We went to visit my Great-Grandmother and Father's tomb in Chang Shu (常熟). It was in the deep dark recesses of a forested hill. For the purpose of getting there before the gate guards forbid us to drive up, we woke at 5 and set off at around 5.30.

By the time we got to the hill at 6.30, there were already a lot of people there exercising but no guards. So we drove into the spot, and dove into the deep forest. Didn't really think of snakes at the time but really I should have. There were ants a centimetre long and mosquitos everywhere. And I mean everywhere. I have never in my life seen so many mosquitos congregated on one spot. It was actually quite scary. One need only to look at the air in front of one to see around 20-30 mosquitos after your blood. At this sight, we covered ourselves in mosquito repellent, to the point that even I felt repelled, but that didn't deter them......my mother was positively dancing in fright, at least that much was extremely entertaining. My mosquito count has risen. And they are evil mosquitos. It has only started swelling today. Sigh. 忍受 . It's a good exercise. Just distance your mind from your body. Works with heat, itchiness, drunkeness, fatigue, pain....easier said than done of course.

After that exercise, we went to a noodle bar just at the foot of the mountain. Gosh I love noodle bars. This one I think was not as good as the one we had on horse-riding day. But cleaner. So, this backs up my theory that the dirtier the place, the better the food. This one's noodle was like, half cooked too. But I think that may be the style of the place. What was really interesting was the people there. First, the shoe shiner. Around mid 40s to early 50s I think. With straw shoes. Put the guy (with a fairly big gut) in a suit, and there was no difference between him and all the other people around the place. I was too shy to take a photo I'm afraid, but maybe dad, who seems to have almost mastered the art of being ignored, has.

I suppose the wealth gap has widened significantly and there is not much social security. The New China is, I'm afraid, a place for New Chinese. We don't get sick much, is ready to work the gruelling hours, handle the pressure, has the brains and aggression to navigate the ever-shifting maze that is China. Admittedly, all this sounds like a kind of paradise for myself at the moment. I have nothing to lose. Aim for the sun, and if you have reached half-way, you have success. I'm already on the ground, and this little birdie is ready to spread her wings. However, what about the other little birdies that are used to ocean airflow and suddenly someone builds a mountain range? In an ideal world, all those little birdies will be re-located, but mostly, with habitat destruction, they die off. . . so does that mean that it is actually due to the kindness and toughness of the human spirit that the wealth gap even exists? Now, that is a cruel thought, but I think, quite optimistic.

Man, I really know how to bs, we are only at 8 am.

Also went and had a look at the Yangtze delta. Gorgeous countryside. Retirement heaven. Like something out of a picture.

After that, lunch with an old friend of Great-Uncle at Changshu Development Area. Really pretty office. Details not really there, but at first glance, the white-collar dream. Haha. I'm dreaming a lot in this holiday isn't it?

Lunch was good, got introduced to the Chinese habit of drinking to one's higher level beings. And being a lower level being, that means emptying your cup to show respect. Luckily, I did 9% Yellow rice wine. Kinda like cooking wine but finer. A Changshu product. It's nice. Kinda like yellow sake. Low limit with a sweet, fragrant aftertaste. The lunch itself: some fish with poisonous blood, abalone, shrimp that are drowned in this sauce so that they breathe it in and have more flavour. Too raw though. I like my shrimps cooked. It would be nice if they seared it afterwards.

After that, Great-Uncle was nice enough to take us through Jiangsu-Nantong Bridge (苏通大桥). It was foggy, but the bridge was absolutely humongously breath-taking. Almost makes me wish I had done engineering. But that takes a less jealous heart than I can offer.

Oh, on hearts, I get Howl's Moving Castle now. Even beautiful superhumans have flaws and that even though a girl may not be pretty, she can capture that superhuman's heart through the strengh of her own. Inner beauty. So romantic...does it happen? Well, there are no beautiful superhumans in existence, so I suppose we will never know. Even if they did, there will probably be no Sophie to save them from being torn apart by all the people that lust after them and want to own them. So, that is why it is a good idea not to watch too much fantasy, gives one a distorted view of what might be. I have found that through much appreciation of the genre and much time spent trying to reconcile the world of dreams and the one I happen to live in. Same goes for video games btw. I know some people think it is escapism, but personally, I don't think most of them have anything to escape from. Or nothing that bad. Just a immature kind of dreaming. But who am I to judge? Living on drugs is excellent until it's not possible. Gaming seems to have a longer possible addiction period, and no, how can I put this, widespread withdrawl symptoms. Maybe it's the next nirvana.

Hua Xi Village 华西村

We went to a "village" close to Zhang Jia Gang today. It used to be a part of collective socialism during the old days, and the villagers there have kept the spirit. The force is still strong in the village. Their village motto is:
"家有黄金数吨,一天也只能吃三顿饭"
Even if a family has gold in the tonnes, one can only eat three meals a day.
At the hotel /Gold tower (12o million yuan, with 39kg of gold turret on top) we went to, their famous leader, that led the village to all this wealth for the village, Wu JiaBao, added:
"豪华房子独占鳌头,一人也只占一个床位" - 吴仁宝
These luxurious rooms alone occupy the top place, but each person need only one bed.

NOTE: Wu JiaBao's counterpart in Zhang Jia Gang is Qing ZhenHua (秦振华, will check spelling)

Anyway, the place is famous for both their rocketing wealth and also what they decided to do with it....that is, create a "world park", where they built imitations of famous world sites. There is a hill in the village, quite a large one, and along the peak, they have built a miniature version of the Great Wall. Complete with guard's post, lookout posts and turrets. There is also Tiananmen Square, the Sydney Opera House, the US Capitol, the Arc de Triomphe......yea. In my mother's words, this is what happens when peasants get rich.....but gosh, it sure was fun looking at all the buildings and trying to recognise them all.

The streets around the Gold Tower are filled with stone statues that either they have erected in celebration of something or given to them.

The peasants got wealthy by putting together their money to have some investments in things like factories and stuff. Thus, is the power of teamwork.

Man, this place really makes me want to believe that Babylon was not a myth.


On our way back, we stopped at a grapevine/yard (??). Organic. No chemical fertiliser nor insectcides. But very small amounts and really expensive. The going rate for grapes is around 12 yuan, this one's 25, and you have to pre-order. I suppose this is high end grape.......really good stuff though, makes me want to go to Xinjiang more. I just hope I'm not disappointed there. Grapes are my favourite fruit. Preferred kind: red, large, seeded. Maybe it's an outdated idea, but I still don't really trust unseeded grapes, I mean, how can you expect the poor vine to give it their all when there is no possibility of the grapes to fulfill their prolifigation purposes?

The owner of the vine showed us around. He is a graduate of ..... 上海农业学院 (Shanghai Institute of Agriculture) ? And has learnt really to enjoy life. I mean, the premium grapes guarantee a pretty decent income, and the guy really likes the work. He experiments with the cultivation of different breeds, and is thinking about breeding his own crop.

This place is actually really cool, I get to know a life outside shopping and eating.


Earlier today, we went shopping along the small streets of Zhang Jia Gang, as we could not afford the Louis XIII and 2000 yuan dresses on offer on the main shopping street. It is in these places that you get to see the real side of this town. We found this out with the food. Went to a rip-off soy milk place that was actually crawling with bugs serviced by a bunch of lazy spoiled brats. I have now added to my mosquito bite count. Again, on my left side. Sigh. It's hard being so tasty. Unfortunately, I can't say the same for my blood for the food. Not only overpriced but absolute disgusting. Luckily we were all hot and hungry, so, while complaining, still drank the cool drink in record time, and downed the yucky food.

The place, like the fake Tiananmen and Great Wall, LOOKS alright, but still, not the real thing.

Sigh, Nanjing may have be raped, pillaged, burnt to the ground, eroded by the sands of time, but we still have the foundation there. Bad food doesn't survive. The end.

Speaking of Nanjing, the development of my dear hometown seems to be underground. The big road that is now a temporary (and I don't think all that legal) carpark is because there is a underground crossing built there. We now are rapidly developing a subway, we already had a underground shopping maze, and there is now going to be another one, and most of the busiest crossings are now vehicles only. People cross underground. There are also red light free subways under busy highways to alleviate traffic, as opposed to bridges. Because it looks prettier. And also (but admission is another thing) because Shanghai has a lot of bridges. We wanna one-up them of course.

More SH-NJ comparison when I get to SH on Sunday.

Residual anger from yesterday

This from Yesterday's Wall Street Journal:

Here's Another Olympic Sport: Skewering the Mascots
China's Five Characters Spur Confusion; 'Could Have Been Much Better,' Says Creator
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121677560339275779.html?mod=2_1338_topbox

I can't believe that they have run out of that many ways to diss the Olympics that they resort on commenting on the cuteness of the dolls. Rupert Murdoch? Or just western propaganda?

Actually, another thought, it's what everyone WANTS to hear. Media gives them what they want (capitalism right?). But that goes back to the old argument that the west feels threatened by China's rise.

Seeing how things are done here. I don't think that's unfounded.

Zhang Jia Gang

Yesterday, we arrived in dad's hometown of Zhang Jia Gang (张家港). The changes to the place over the past few years are ENORMOUS! It has become a model city of economic development. This used to be a one horse town, now.... there a high rise apartments everywhere, miles and miles of newly developed highways, factories, parks, man-made lakes, high end shopping......totally don't feel like I'm in a small town.

Went horse riding today! My first time. Was pretty fun. I managed to get the horse into a trot, which, in the heeled sandals, that, other than the pretty jewelled jandals I bought yesterday, are the only two pairs of shoes that I have with me, is fairly decent (I think.....).

The riding was done on this little island in the middle of Yangtse River (长江河), called Two Mountain Island (双山岛）We got to see some peasant land, the crops growing on it, ducks, geese and all these little birds that you don't see very often in the cities like egret (白鹭), and swallows (燕子) plus other birds I don't know the names of. Beautiful day today, high of 38 degrees, luckily, we hit the island in the morning, which meant that it wasn't that hot.

On our way back, we saw a cargo barge along the the Yangtse...absolutely beautiful, that gigantic (not that big, but people are small right?) hulking thing slowly embarking on its journey futher upstream... shouldn't be that far up, hitting the dams soon.

This is definately a land of opportunity, if, like all lands of opportunity, a little dark. Still, not as dark as could be. China is more small level dark. Of course, that adds up to large level of darkness, but....I don't know, does that mean that each individual gets ripped off less? Or maybe we are more creative.

Read up a little on Roman Abramovich and his dark money ("abramovich vouchers"). All in the course of life.

You know, I've been thinking today, you know, money is just a way to waste time. We spend time earning money, then spend time spending money, then, we wait for the things that we have spent money on to get old and then do the above all over again. Of course, say that to your average coal miner, risking health, life and limb just to get a few hundred dollars a month to feed their family.

Still............from the high perch of my relatively comfortable life so far, I think you have a real purpose in life if you are in that kind of situation. Like...that bun after you have eaten nothing in the past 24 hours and is close to collapsing. Far, far more meaningful life than your average fat spoiled brat without having to worry about anything in their life ever. In that respect, it's good that I lived in NZ for so long. Wasn't spoiled. Here, I don't have to lift a finger. Food: ready (3.50 yuan noodles better than ever). Dishes: not my problem. Floor: you mean they get dirty? Cleaning up my room: other people. So in the end, living the hard life is a good thing. Those religions were right.......

Ah, my third day of endless food and heat. The freshness of the city is still very much upon us. Even the rice tastes better.

Insects of home:

The cicadas are so cute. They chirp in waves. One of then starts and the others also start in competition and it gets louder and louder and then suddenly. . . .it breaks off and there is silence. Only to start all over again a while later.

The dragonflies are really enchanting too. It's been years.... I totally remember lying in the grass looking at those pretty wings before they flit off again. . . ah, beautiful childhood, how great to re-live it again.

Some things never change. I'm still a mosquito magnet. have about 20 odd bites all down my left side because i usually sleep on my right.....it doesn't really itch though. I am older, wiser, and can exercise more self control over the itchiness.

Food of home:

Went and had a NJ classic today 鸭血粉丝汤 (Duck's Blood with Vermicelli Soup) and 小笼包 （um...dunno translation, little buns with soup and amazing meaty filling in them). Due to the abscence of my dear, gigantic laptop, I am unable to post any picture until I upgrade my person in HK, but I will see what I can do. As I am the slowest eater in the family (some things never change) ....I was the last one left to clear the table..... of course I would not let good food down to waste...

Sigh, fingers crossed that the sweating will protect me from pigginess. News says that it will rise to 36 degrees tomorrow, but then, they also said we might typhoon, which luckily didn't occur.

TV of home:

OLYMPICS!!! Behind the scenes, intro of athletes, movie/song stars, the dodgy director 张艺谋（Zhang Yi Mou)....everything. Say what you will, but this is going to be awesome. Actually, I have heard some people discuss whether it was all worth it. All the money, politiking, etc for what? A few athletes to come to this city, see who's the fastest, strongest etc? Because, pragmatically, that is what it is. I.e., is there indeed as great a significance attached to these games than the Chinese people would like to believe? I thinks so. I mean, we humans cannot completely live in the pragmatic world. This is our coming-out party. We are here to prove that we are not 1984 barbarians. Never was, never will be. It's not even the new China. Everything is still here. Just that the hardware has changed a little.

Actually, (ok this is a little off track), another thought that I had today is that the traditional course if life for the average Chinese, traditionally hasn't changed in hundreds of years. We are born, study, if we are good, we get into a good institution that pretty much guarantees you a comfortable life, meet a suitable spouse (temperament, social standing) have kid (ok, no "s" for the most part now, I suppose that's different), give that little cutie your all, retire, and play chess, collect stamps, have a menagerie, play mahjong, become an antique expert, paint...... all those things that one does not expect to make money out of.

I think that is why I like this society. Sometime, having infinite choice can be a bad thing. Here, there are mentally disturbed people of course, but for the most part, there are no emos, no taggers, no...rebels without a cause. Tried to watch that on the plane lol, but, you know those things that get remade so many times it just gets cliche?

I have strayed waaayyyy to far off topic. Comments welcome. It makes me feel less like I'm becoming one of those mentally disturbed.

Its good to be back

Just arrived in Nanjing after a long journey, it has been fun. It is currently around 33 degrees and it feels like a sauna when you are away from the AC. I'm actually quite enjoying it, it's like getting a sauna without going a very hot room with an endless supply of cold drinks and food at my disposal.

I'm afraid I am being affected by the great firewall of china atm. Facebook is cut off for some reason, The economist and wsj are really slow, but at least I can access some of them. And no, I don't know how to proxy, it was one of those things that I knew I should learn to do but didn't get around to it. . . my laziness is coming back to bite me. Oh well, I didn't agree with the rumour fuelled Tibet separatist stuff they blocked on last week's edition anyway, a whole lot of hot air.

Anyway, Shanghai was absolutely gorgeous today, blues skies, clean fresh air, brillant sunshine....almost the same as Auckland on a bad day. Our journey was very pleasant, got picked up at the airport and was driven to Nanjing （南京） by a friend of dad's. The driving takes a little getting used to. The lines that specify the lanes are actually only approximate guidelines, as with the red lights, depending on your attitude to driving. So asian drivers(the real ones) aren't actually bad, it's just normal to sway in and out of your lane, over take by driving between two cars in the lanes (0n the line) and to cut people off when changing lanes.

Everything seems so different to a year and a half ago when I was last back. It's way hotter for one, and I suppose I now view things in a different light. There is a lot more further development, the busy road outside my grandparents' house is now blocked off for redevelopment, and all the side streets have turned into free carparks basically. There are definately more cars on the road, so frustrating, it took us more than an hour just to get out of Shanghai.

The food here is so good. We went to Changzhou (常州) on the way to 南京 yesterday, and they bought some of their famous dishes. I don't know, we were tired and hungry and that was our first meal there, but even the cucumbers (凉拌黄瓜） tasted amazing.

The old clothing factory that used to be opposite our house is now a after-school tuition class sponsored by 南京师范大学（Um....Nanjing Normal University?）How is that for an example of the transition of the Chinese economy from one of small scale manufacture into a knowledge economy? Actually, its probably just a reflection of high real estate prices. . . Believe what you will.

Ah, fb is back...

Re-vamping my blog

Hello my future readers!

I have resurrected one of the products of my old trawls through the vast world of cyberspace.

As I contemplate my first period away from home, there are many things that strike me.

Firstly, how much do I know my adopted country? I don't interact much with local media, local marketing doesn't really reach me either (doesn't help that around 90% of it revolves around a sport, that, while barbaric, is not barbaric enough to entice the bloodthirsty spectator, but on the other hand, while technical, is not technical enough to keep the keen spectator mentally engaged for the full lengh of the game. Of course, this makes for excellent intoxicated viewing, which is generally what one does, but, the idea that one must be under the influence of a drug to enjoy an activity does not exactly score that activity brownie points does it? Mayhaps I have simply not taken the time to explore the game and its subtleties.

Of course, the natural follow up to that is of course, how much do I know about China? Not much. If anything. But I'm going to find out no doubt.

Also, there is the feeling that one must not accumulate too much material things in the world. It is so true that you cannot take it with you. And not just to the grave. From now on, I shall try to maintain this "refugee mentality", all that one really possesses is what is in one's head, and what can reasonably fit in one's pockets (and perhaps a small handbag). Everything else are just temporary auxillary things. Imagine accumulating so much stuff that you have come to depend on, that you cannot bear to relocate permanently to another place! I have come to empathise with Kubrick in his later years. This whole excercise reminds me of that base thingy in Dune 2000. Just double-click and the entire thing turns into your future base. Doesn't help if you've choosen the wrong spot and it's on the most exposed part or alteratively, your finger slipped...

Actually, that is the similar kind of reasoning that 《突击》 (my latest TV drama obsession) went through．　Property is of no value. No loss is greater than loss of comrades. Sigh. Who's getting philosophical in her cold swivel chair?