Being fat in HK

To my utter shock, I am considered fat in HK. I'm not even depressed. I'm keeping the body. Makes me special. And plus, I'm becoming fond of the curves. It's who I am. And of course, you can't make me stop eating. That would make me depressed.

Plus, I don't have to be pretty. It's not necessary for me to have enough resources to live the life I need. I don't have a comparative advantage in that department anyway. I'm smarter than I am pretty.  On the normal distribution.

But I have found out that apparently 80-85% of all girls in HK all plan to marry a rich guy. Or hopes to. Or is trying to look prettier so they can do so. Isn't that sick? And no offense, but the guys fuel it! I mean, it's my own problem if I'm. . . bigger than the average HKie girl right? How is it their business to tell me to lose weight to improve my chances? Ok, that is very western way of thinking. It's not just the HKies, my parents and family do it to me as well. They are just trying to be nice so that I can have it all. Rich boy. Tick. Good job. Tick. Life perfect. Tick.  Bullshit way of living. Tick. 

Money is not an object. It's a medium of exchange, medium of account and store of value (good one these days, deflation la). What does it really matter how much money one has? Actually, I saw a documentary today off the internet. Called "Young and Restless in China". Link:(http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/youngchina/)

A theme in the doco is that there is a spiritual hole in China. One that is currently filled on materialism. I think that we are seeing that come apart right before our eyes. The Chinese will start turning to find more meaning in life very soon. And that can be dangerous. I think the CCP have the maturity and are pragmatic enough to know that they cannot fight this, and must work with it to give the people more human rights and freedom, at the cost of growth. I really don't think it would get ugly, but there is a great potential. If it was any other country than the one that I primarily identify with, I would say that there is definitely going to be violence and unrest, but I have faith in the CCP. Naive? Perhaps. Blind? Admittedly probably. But that's my view. 

On a smaller level, the rapper guy commented that girls in China don't believe in love anymore. Only money. So sad. I for one still believe in love. Didn't use to actually. This is a more recent belief. 

Money is after all, a recent thing. It's evil. I finally said it. Wouldn't be bad to just live on the land. OK, I would never survive, both physically and mentally, but at least I can empathise more now. There is something in us right? Some primal thing. We haven't quite evolved to city life. 

All of a sudden, I miss NZ more. I wish they sky wasn't grey. I wish I could see Milford Sound again. I wish I could go to a beach and see no people, with pristine sands, fruits of the sea, and a waterfall behind me that I can drink out of. Actually, just being in a bush with the sound of no human. Still and calm. I've tried to decrease the amount of information that I come in contact with every day as a result of this. Everything is just getting too cluttered. I need to somehow distill the important things out. There are not many important things.

Thoughts

Went hiking today. With the MBA people. Had a good time running around, joked around etc. 

Had a fun talk with instructor about HK girls. Stemmed from my continious eating. And "bye bye fat" (aka underarm fat). All the Hongkie chicks seem to care about is being pretty and marrying a rich man. I thought of doing that, but realised that it was too high risk, with no chance of diversification. On the other hand, the skills you gain are pretty transferable. More than being a trader anyway. But I'm not aiming for that anymore.  

Isn't that sad? I mean, eating is one of the things I derive the most pleasure from. I get really depressed if I don't eat. I found that travelling by myself through Borneo. I was pissed off at them, and a little scared and worried as I had no idea about where to go expect that one name of the village of where I was heading to, but I was really happy most of the way, except when I was hungry. I like the small things in life.

On the subject of transferability of skills, I have finally figured out that it is very important to gain transferable skills. Actually, that's the problem with engineering. You may learn a lot, but it is oh so specialised. I mean, a chemical engineer would find it hard to be anything other than a chemical engineer. Barring chemical engineering lecturer, reseacher etc.  Whereas lawyer, what you mostly gain is critical thinking and speaking skills. Can go into role in management, politics, journalism, blogging, TV . . . . This, inevitably got me to thinking about me.  Math and Compsci skills are transferable. Accounting skills are transferable (not as much as the others though). Most of all, language skills are transferrable. My next focus then.

What is not that transferable? Finance. Economics. I mean, I admire that Econ give you a new way of looking at things, but to be serious, it's more of a philosophy than anything else isn't it? It's ridiculous to think that one can REALLY do a cost-benefit analysis. I mean, you give me your desired outcome, I give you a report. Possibly to argue it either way. And a third way if you shall so desire.  Finance is just bs in a financial way. And the math skills cannot really be attributed to finance, math is math. I suppose it's a inter-disciplinary area of study. Actually, can it really be called a subject? Can business really be termed as an academic subject? Actually, my friend is probably very correct in that it is a vocational subject. So in actual fact, what business schools really should be teaching their graduates is how to think so that they make the correct decision in the correct situation. Now that's a difficult to teach. I'm not sure b-schools even try. 

Isn't it also funny about first impressions? Don't judge a book by its cover. Once again found proof if this fact. 

Mad need sleep. But I'm getting much much better at not sleeping. I've done about 6 hrs in last two nights. That's three days. Today's the third night. 

Night!

Decision making at the margin

I have just realised that most of my week is, well, was spent based on irrationality. I went and listened to classes because I paid for them, and therefore should go. However, what I paid was a sunk cost! I am basically paying for my degree. There are no consequences to not turning up to class. There are, however, consequences to not turning up to tutorials, so I better go to those. 

I can't believe I've been so stupid. I should allocate my time the best I can, not on going to class and pretending to pay attention based on some stupid sunk costs.

I love economics.

Good days and bad days.

Ok, yesterday was a unbelievably good day. I had a epiphany, an adventure early in the morning, followed by an excellent Insurance lecture. This guy is like having a guest lecturer twice a week. He talks about almost nothing except what is currently going on in industry in HK. I then listened to Professor Lord Nicholas Stern talk about climate change (not that inspiring but he is my first economist-blueblood), I didn't register and sneaked in, but of all the luck, sat next to a Prof from Champs Trophy's friends, so now have another contact in HK. I managed to finish my assignment in record speed, then went to the Charisma thing, then found out that I managed to get over the crazy 87% average in Derivatives midterm (yay!!!!) and the whole day was topped off with a fancy high table dinner, listened to Stanley Ho and Raymond Chan, two really rich guys in HK, and had a fun tipsy run afterwards.

Today is resolutely a bad day. It begun bad in the wee hours of the morning, when I found out that due to my desire to score some airpoints, my perfect Chinese New Year's flights to NJ are booked out. Then, the stupid computer system (or perhaps my network connection) was experiencing problems that didn't allow me to book! So I need to try again now.

Also today, I have to sit through two sets of two hour lecturers by boring guys. Torture. Couldn't concentrate. Just soo.....boring!! Monetary econ is irrelevant to say the least. It's just too theoretical!!! It's all stale thinking from like 30 years ago(at least). I don't think it's very directly applicable to life. I mean, it probably is, but you probably need to do a hell of a lot of work to make it do so. I knew this, but I decided to take it because 1. I get credits and 2. I thought it would help me understand central banking. Well 1 is definitely true. As for 2. . . I know CBers know this theory and might even discuss it, but I think the world is too unpure. They are motivated more by politics. So who gives a ****? I'm being cynical. It's probably useful.

As for derivatives. Reminds me of maths lectures. Complete with guy with easy to tune out chinese accent, and unimaginative style of teaching. Sometimes it seems that he is up there in the dark (he turns off the front of room lights, it's like a reverse movie theatre) talking to himself about this stuff. There is not really much to lecture about. This plus this equals that. Sub that into this and you get this. Then use this to derive that by rearranging. I passed out for around 20mins and then tuned out for the rest of the hour. I feel bad, but it was really hard.

Could this all stem from my lack of sleep yesterday? I shouldn't have gone running late at night, instead, should have just gone to sleep and left all this to today.

Because, I think I just twisted my ankle walking down the stars in Chong Yuet Ming. Embarrassing!!!!!! Spilt my Starbucks all over the steps too, but I totally wanted to get out of there fast. I don't even know how that happened. I think it may be in my best interests to just go back right now and pass out on my bed. Oh, but I need to do grocery shopping. . . no fresh fruit. Should I do that tomorrow? No because I'm doing real shopping tomorrow and applying for my China visa (yes, I need to apply to go home).

I also wasted crazy amounts of time having lunch. One bowl of noodles, hungry, then desert, then drink, then went to buy tape, then went to library, no computers, then no cash, then atm, then no octopus cash. . . I think I have wasted around 2 hours running around being inefficient today. I really think it's the lack of sleep. I didn't know this kind of thing was so important! Will get to bed early tonight. My goal to raise my efficiency has worked somewhat. I am more efficient, just not efficient enough. Will keep trying day by day. Hopefully, by the end of this exchange, I'll be a machine.

Also, I've been thinking about my academic overaverageness. It really is very unfair. I mean, I do less work, and do better than a lot of my peers. Derivatives was an all night cram. I did no prior study. I feel bad. And I wonder if this will come back and hit me later on in life. Hopefully not. I am aware of this danger, so I will look out for it. I don't think that this is a big deal. And am very humble about my geeky achievements. I mean in the end, all of it has no practical value. I may as well spend my time solving problems that really impact real people rather than focusing on how to beat my peers in the next assessment and pass that stupid high average.

Lost in Sheung Wan. 4th time.

This morning, in order to save some time, I caught the wrong bus (4 not 4X is the correct one) and ended up in Sheung Wan. De ja vu? However, this proved all for the best.

Being me, I decided that the food must be better here, and that since I was there already, I should go get some breakfast. This thinking resulted in a 20min walk around the place, where I managed to get to the bus stop, and lo and behold, an elusive "zhou" (congee) place right opposite.

This walk has really given me a feel for Hong Kong. All the bird's nest sellers, the old vendors in there stores, the dried sea goods. . . This is what HK used to be like. And I suppose, is traditionally like. At first, I had thought the area was seedy and scary. No more. It is simply more of Asia.

While at this zhou place, I had a slight epiphany. The couple we met yesterday, the M & A banker and Bain consultant, grads of Harvard and UPenn respectively, they were missing something. A connection to the culture of this place. As I sat there and thought of our brunch, I wondered if they ever came to these places. Then, I realised that they probably couldn't read the menus. Of course, I could be wrong, but even if they could, I doubt they would go. It just felt so at home. The old people coming in to get takeout for their spouse or family, along with groceries for the day, the working people getting breakfast. I really felt that this is what HK life REALLY is. This is how the plebians live. It was the first time I had ever been out to a built up area that early.

Then, I thought about taking a gap year. I think I will do it. One day, I will be in a situation like the M & A banker and his girlfriend, and I don't want to feel empty like that. They didn't like the mainland because it was the "wild west" and that western companies weren't really investing a lot of their time on it. So what? Isn't that the exciting part? If you found the right niche, the right loophole, then you could make (and then lose no doubt) a FORTUNE. It's like the tycoons of old. There is a chance a new Standard Oil or General Electric will form right before our eyes. Isn't that amazing?

They also hated Beijing due to it's lack of "efficiency" in street signs. But isn't it cool? Beijing is a vast, sprawling, beaureaucratic, slow moving city. I think that may be good for policy-making. A huge behemouth with vast power and streets that aren't meant to be easily navigated by outsiders. It's pretty descriptive of the feel of the city itself don't you think? And don't they feel the charm of the Beijing alleys? I suppose it's very frustrating for a visitor. Which is why it is good to get your friend to meet you at a subway station or something and lead you to their house. Actually, that is a good idea in all of china. I doubt I will be able to find a place from the address if i haven't been there before.

Also, they have so much at such a young age with . . . small amount of effort. Comparatively. I wanna see how the other half lives, also confirm or reject the theories I have about life with empirical evidence. So, I shall start researching NGOs and the like. Preferably some kind of financial or economic consulting company preparing developmental reports on third world countries, or microfinance companies. Most importantly, one that PAYS ME. Not the other way around. Plus, how awesome would that look on a CV? Might even get straight into asset management. Ok, pipe dream, but higher probability of getting in than if i didn't do a gap year correct?

For HKD 1900, I could go home to Nanjing for the weekend.

I have just realized that there is not real place I call home. Wizard of Oz echoed through this vast cavern of consciousness (ok, perhaps less than vast, but it sound good with cavern correct?). There's no place like home. Where is home? Nanjing? I sleep very well there. And eat even better. But is it really home? I'm coddled and cuddled. I make extreme efforts to be nice. I feel guilty when alone doing my own thing, thinking that I need to make the most of this time to keep my grandparents company. Home?

Lie on your bed, just as if you haven't left? No longer quite possible, the place is renovated. The dusty old window frames with the cloudy glass that I used to see every morning are now aluminum frames. It's nicer. . . and easier to clean. But, you know, sometimes, in parts of the world, when I wake up and see the morning glow shining through some cloudy, dusty window framed by thick black frames, it's as if I'm back in my childhood again, and for a moment, I feel safe and utterly content.

Isn't it funny childhood memories? We feel so good when wrapped up in them. I went to Malaysia and ate 山楂片 (Haw Flakes). Didn't even really like them when young. But somehow, they stick more than the 大白兔，or the 旺旺雪并。 I'm sure you got more per packet back then, but then, it is still as cheap as it was before. One other thing I yearn for is the 罗伯斯并 from the roadside after mum picked me up from kindergarten, with that woman. I barely remember her face now, but I definitely recall the spoon, the flour mix and how the thing magically appeared in the shape of the spoon after deep frying. I also miss the 茶叶蛋 from the old woman outside the children's hospital, after my many trips there due to fever, excessive coughing etc. Immune system still sh*tty though. Have diahorreal illness from Malaysia.

Is that home? I suppose I am nearing the age where I should really start thinking about creating my own home. Frightful thought, but to not think about is to only delay reality. I'm no Peter Pan. I can't be a kid forever. Haha, it's funny isn't it? Everything that our innocent childhood stories that we love so dearly tell us about the big bad world? Delay adulthood, be a child forever. Ah, there is a reason why that is called fantasy.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, awwww......I should re-read some of the Roald Dahl, I reckon I'll understand so much more now, anyway, the part where Grandpa lives Charlie's fantasy with him. That's it isn't it? We lose our childhoods, then, when we are old with grandchildren, we get a chance to regain it, through them. That is why all grandparents spoil their grandkids. Ok, not all, but the ones that get it do.

As far as my own childhood goes, actually, sadly, personally, I consider it to be pretty much over once I left Nanjing. But then what was in between???? Extended adolescence? Perhaps. It was just not the same once we left. At least I had almost 7 years of nice memories to draw on. Plus bits and pieces here and there. Not the best, but then definitely not the worst. That which does not kill us will make us stronger I guess.

Sigh, now I'm off to attempt to be more of an adult.

People

Some people in life, just have mastered the art of making others feel like they are close to them. When in fact they are not. Some have the knack of making others feel that they are distant. Even though they are close.

The former reaches and he receives. The latter is always wondering why he always makes such distant friends.

New insights on friendships. But contrarily, closeness may be more easily achieved by the distant one. Well, at least one can always tell the close ones from the distant.

We each live our lives to the best of our ability, to suit the best of our intentions.